What are the experiences that shaped who you are today ?

I was raised by parents who were first generation farm owners. They worked incredibly hard to achieve what represented security to them and this came with a significant dose of sacrifice. My childhood was quite happy and free, roaming hills, riding horses, swimming in the river and helping on the farm. My mother died when she was 39, she had a long and difficult battle with cancer but never made it the problem of her 5 children. She fought hard to stay with us as she did not want to leave her family. It was very devastating and I was 18 at the time and had just met the young man who would later become my husband and the love of my life. Meeting him and sharing this experience made us very close and we always had each other’s back.

Together we parented 3 boys and ran a business. We were both very active in our local community with our own and our children’s interests. My own career path  spanned the Disability sector where I was privileged to be involved in initiatives to make people’s lives better including breaking down barriers to exclusion for disabled people. My father died 20 years after my mother. He had developed an inherited health condition, something he fought strongly to overcome but eventually the treatment options were exhausted. He was held closely in the network of his family and his loss was also devastating given that he had been a sole parent to us for the previous 20 years. Again my husband was my rock through this period. Fast forward to recent times. My beloved husband died in 2018 after a brief but brutal battle with cancer. Our family was devastated because not only was he my rock but a rock to his boys.

My career had been taking a slightly different trajectory and I have been involved in a number of other things including setting up a small social service sector contracting business and as an elected member of the  district council and I am currently Deputy Mayor. I continue to operate my late husbands motor trade business and have a very small role in the contracting business as co-director.  I completed a management degree mid-career and graduated in 2012, I was the first person in my family to complete a tertiary qualification. I am continually learning and up skilling and am always delighted to learn new things. My life is plotted with losses of who I refer to as my significant others at 20 year intervals and this has definitely shaped me. I have learned that time heals and that you should live, laugh and love with no regrets.  I am learning to live differently in a new normal after a happy and companionable  34 year marriage, not of my choice but my pragmatic husband would tell me to get on with it.

What is your inner attribute that you like most –

Empathy – it can be both a blessing and a challenge. People can be frustrated by empathy if they don’t believe you are holding someone to account however we are all on a journey and our time and place in our life journey is personal and individual.

Are you at ease with your own body and age –

All I can say “ it is what it is “.  I accept it.

Tell about a time in your life when you felt most powerful –

My mother was to be admired for her capacity to not engage in coy and  disingenuous chatter. Deep in my memory I recall this trait  as being very powerful. She was not rude, just pragmatic and straight forward. I also think power  has different meanings and context. Power over is not useful or healthy. Becoming a parent bought out a powerful protector role from within me. Learning about emotional maturity has made me feel more in control and therefore more powerful. Some of my personal achievements such as completing  the Tongariro Crossing a year ago make me feel personally powerful.

Research shows that a lot of women want to know that the work they do is significant , meaningful and embodies their highest potential – what do you think ?

For me as I age I like to think that my work is purposeful. I have had been in roles that I have felt a real privilege to hold. Right now in my life journey I am examining my role in obligation to others and how that is a fit or match for me. I am always curious about how people spend their days whether it be work or otherwise. I have a real curiosity about how our roles connect and diverge and what people do to make the world a better place.  I am interested in what gives people purpose.

What would you try if you felt you could not fail –

I feel like failure is connected to fear. As an older adult I took up rowing as a sport and it has taught me so much about being prepared to just keep trying. Sport was something I had not been involved in much prior to this. Right now I am time poor and can’t make rowing my  priority but my intention is to get back to it and face the fear again.

What do you do to let your hair down or as a self-care ritual –

I have the most amazing Thai massage service in the town I live in. I have a regular massage as part of my personal wellbeing strategy.

Time with good friends fills my soul – laughter and storytelling over a shared dinner is cathartic. I am lucky to have a network of amazing friends. Quiet time is important as well, the bush and walking especially with my wee doggy or my grandchildren. Gardening is another thing that brings me peace.

Who are the women that you find inspiring and have influenced you in some way –

This list is long and varied but for the most part confined to family and friends. Of course influential and famous people are inspiring but we need to be driven by our own inspiration.

In terms of my family my 4 year old granddaughter inspires me with her confidence, empathy  and sass. She is always going to make the world a better place. My mother and paternal grandmother inspired me with their grit and determination to overcome some real challenges,  my daughters in law inspire me with their careers and parenting, my good friends and close members of my wider family inspire me with the way they live their lives and  seek to make the world a better place. In terms of influential or famous people I once listened to Dr Jane Goodall speak live. I was inspired by her compassion for animals and dedication to conservation and making her part of the world a better place. She has also dedicated a significant part of her life too investing in the next generation as our future change makers.

Why are beautiful photo’s important to you now?

I wanted to draw a line in the sand of my new normal. In my healing journey I am working out what is important for the next phase of my life and the photos will serve as a reminder of where I am at this point in time.

They are also legacy for my children and grandchildren so they can be proud of the pride I hold in myself.